Monday, June 30, 2008

Hell Is Hot and So Is PDX

WARNING: This post is rather long. Feel free to listen to the following music while you read/view. The first song is from Frightened Rabbit, who we saw at Holocene not that long ago. The second song is from Islands, another band we watched. Enjoy.


The Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit




Where Theres a Will Theres a Whalebone - Islands


..
Finally some pictures for everyone to enjoy. The top left photo is a shot of our place taken from the cemetery across the street. Our unit is the top one. You can barely notice the barbed wire on top of the cemetery fence that helps keep the walking dead from wandering onto our property and eating our brains. The cemetery houses the graves of many famous historical Portland figures. I don't think that Darrell Glass, Chico George Galaviz, and Margarita Kujan are included in that category, but their headstones show the wide spectrum of headstone ornateness on the property. On a side note, I don't believe that zombie Darrell Glass would eat my brains were he able to bypass the barbed wire. I like to imagine that he would engage me in deep and meaningful conversations about politics, steroids in baseball, and who would win in a fight between a shark and a crocodile.

..

..
These are pictures of the interior of our place. They are (clockwise from the top left): The living room (as viewed from the dining room/kitchen), my office inside the front door (as viewed from the living room), the master bedroom, and the dining room/kitchen (as viewed from the living room).

Since the last update, we had the privilege of a visit by Mr. Robbie Crowley from Birmingham. We showed him Portland for a few days. Activities included food, beer, and some hiking and sightseeing.

..
The above photos are shots from Council Crest Park. It is the highest point in Portland (elev. 1073 ft.) and is located just outside of downtown. On a clear day you can see Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Ranier, Mt. Adams, Mt. Jefferson, and Mt. Hood. It was not a clear day.

..
These are shots of the Columbia River Gorge. The scenic drive starts about 20 or so minutes outside of Portland and continues for about 2 hours. I-84 runs along the southern edge of the Columbia River and is what we drove into Portland on during our initial trek. Washington begins on the northern shore of the river. The gorge is a popular spot for kite and wind surfing due to the stiff breezes that flow through it.

..
Along the gorge on the Oregon side are a couple of different waterfalls. These two are shots from Latourell Falls. Robbie was brave enough to risk wetness and stand near the bottom.

....
These three shots are from Multnomah Falls. It is the second highest continuously flowing waterfall in the nation at 620 feet. You can hike a little more than a mile to the top of the falls, but we opted to hike to the bridge in the middle of the first picture. That is where the second picture was taken. The third picture is of some kids who were enjoying the falls. It is dedicated to John Yam of Atlanta, GA, # 1 Asian.


What visit to Portland would be complete without a visit to Voodoo Donuts? For those of you who know a little about Voodoo Donuts, you probably know what donut this is. For those of you who know Butters, you probably know why his name is on this donut. Enough said.

Another heat wave hit Portland this weekend, with temperatures reaching the 90's again. We have no AC in our place because it normally doesn't get this hot in Portland. Thankfully someone invented box fans and that there is very little humidity in the northwest. Helen and I are making due but the cats are miserable. Colle is the only one smart enough to sit in front of the fans. This is how Thor cools himself off:


What post would be complete without a list of more oddities that have been observed in Portland? The following have been observed/experienced since my last post:
  • A woman in a thong bikini playing a ukulele in the park by our house
  • Homeless love quarrels, again at the park
  • A 70+ year old woman approaching a sunburned "dude",who had just proudly announced to anyone within 20 feet his exploits with the prostitute he just put on the bus, and asking him if he would be so kind as to do the same with her.
With as many homeless/crazy people stories we tell, Portland really is really a respectable and safe town. Maybe I'm just getting used to things or have a low shock value, but I'm taking all of these things in stride. They just make for good stories; at least I hope they do.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Naked jousting bikers and Scientology-hating pirates (another weekend in Portland)

It's Pedalpalooza in Portland.
In the park near our house, people were doing this:
Link
It's called tall bike jousting, and it looked painful.
People were also running around sans-clothing getting ready for the Naked Bike Ride.
Lucky for them, the weather is finally getting nice! Just in time for a visit from the famous Robbie Crowley. I am excited! I'm hoping to take some little day trips to Wine Country, the coast, and Columbia River Gorge, but we'll see what we can fit in. I'll take some photos, I promise.
We went to the Saturday market this weekend and had a picnic at the Waterfront Park. It was Pride Festival Weekend and Plunderathon, which meant that everyone was dressed up like gay pirates. We also walked over to the Farmer's Market and noticed that some of the pirates had also decided to protest Scientology. The group is called "Anonymous," and they wear these creepy masks that look like this:


Which is even scarier than Tom Cruise doing this. Thanks for the nightmares, guys!
While we were out enjoying the city, the cats were at it again.
Colle: 35
Butters: 20
Colle takes a startling lead, due to winning a bet with Butters. She managed to catch the feather toy first and won 10 alpha cat points.

Last, but not least, The Oregon Tail would like to wish a very Happy Birthday to our dear friend, Kevin Wilder. We love you, Kevin.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

R.I.P. August 2007 - June 2008


You were more than a flavor saver and provider of endless hours of enjoyment; you were also my friend. As Cary Norton's shirt can attest, beards really grow on you.

The following are people/things that I no longer look like:


Jesus


Charles Manson


Rasputin


Osama Bin Laden


Richie Tenenbaum


Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam/Cat Steve Evans


Crazy Homeless Man


Michael J. Fox as Scott Howard in "Teen Wolf"


The West Virginia Mountaineer


ZZ Top


I now look like the following:


Baby's Butt


Listen, remember, reflect. All of these songs say words that I cannot say myself in the style of:

Classic Rock


Pop


Hip-Hop

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Southern Living in Portland, Oregon!







I want to take this opportunity to thank Southern Living for a sushi dinner and for bringing me one of my favorite people EVER, Mr. Seth Newell, cinematographer extraordinaire.
Even though the visit was a short one, it was so great to see a close friend.
That means more of you guys need to get your bums up here.
But BEWARE, there is another strange Portland phenomenon going on:
When Garrett and I first arrived, I got the hives.
They kept getting worse, so I went to the doctor, who brought his laptop into the room with him to show me the 10-page list of reasons I might have hives... very comforting. So, I got steroids, and they went away. Now, SETH has hives! What's the deal???

While Seth was here we did the following:
Today I started a Cardio/Weight Interval class at Mt. Tabor Park. It kicked my butt. I am excited about it kicking my butt. It's nice to get to look at gorgeous views of the city while doing pushups. Ow, I'm sore.

Speaking of my butt, I thought about applying for a job on craigslist for a "Backside-blessed Woman for a video," but Garrett informed me that, according to the criteria below, I do not qualify as a "Type 1."




Last, but not least, the battle for alpha cat is getting closer. I give Butters points for eating all the food and managing to corner Colle in the guest bedroom.
Colle: 20
Butters: 15

Monday, June 2, 2008

PRIORITY #1


Where are you, Greg Oden? Attaining your friendship was my main reason for moving to Portland, yet you are nowhere to be found. Honestly, you're 7 feet tall, how hard should it be to find you in a town of malnutritioned pasty kids with overly tight jeans? Don' make me give my total allegiance to Big Black.



Other things accomplished in the past few days:
  • Saw the movie XXY and it was XXcrazY; good, but XXcrazY
  • Drank beers at the Portland Zoo Brew beer fest. Helen recommends the Volksweizen from the fine folks at Rock Bottom Brewery. I was down with the Trumer Pils, handcrafted by some California Austrians at Trumer Brauerei. -->insert lame joke here<-- There were more jackasses at the zoo that night than any other animal I saw.
  • Volunteered with the Friends of Mt. Tabor to clean the park of invasive plant species. It is now Monday afternoon and I'm still wondering when the work will start. A more suitable name might be the Friends of Mt. Tabor Who Stand and Point Out Poison Oak, Scotch Broom, & Deadly Night Shade Then Uproot a Small Piece of It & Then Congratulate Themselves for a Job Well Done
  • Started day trading again. There's nothing better than having the choice of working in your underwear. Now I know how Giselle Bundchen feels, minus dating Tom Brady.