BORK BORK BORK BORK

It's been in the works for a little while, but I can now say that I have applied to, been accepted by, and will be attending the Oregon Culinary Institute. I figured that after graduating with a finance degree and trading stocks for almost the last 10 years, culinary school would be the next logical choice. It makes perfect sense doesn't it? I will be going for my culinary arts diploma starting June 9, and if all goes according to plan, will be completing the program in February of next year.

Since moving to Portland, I have become more interested in food and its creation and preparation. I've always been interested in eating it, except for the times I'm doing the Master Cleanse. Portland is a hotbed of culinary creation, and paired with its incredible wine, beer, and spirits industry, I cannot think of a better spot to learn than here. Although not entirely devoted to food, you can get a better feel for Portland's food culture in this recent New York Times article about the city.

Here's the part where I try to answer some of the questions that you might have:

1. No, I do not have to wear a chef's hat; a baseball hat will suffice
   
2. I have no idea how I'm going to do the master cleanse when I am required to eat food everyday
3. No, I do not watch cooking shows. I watch Anthony Bourdain on occasion, but that only half-counts because he's getting drunk most of the time
4. I do not have a desired specialty as of yet. That will come with time
5. Yes, I'm sure that I'll cut at least one finger off. Thankfully, they grow back, as I learned a few years ago.
6. No, I do not consider myself a good cook now. I have never made anything requiring more than 5 ingredients. That doesn't mean that I don't like to do it though. Graduation will occur in my mind when herbs and spices no longer scare me and I know what flambe means.

Everything Else

• The new job is still going well. I'm still working on my dough tossing skills. Apparently Porlanders have never experienced a server from the south because all of the customers think that I'm the nicest person ever. My boss won't let me leave work without drinking a beer.

• Helen completed her yoga challenge. I'll let her tell you about it.

• The cats are still doing well. Thor's been taking advantage of the springtime sun and sunning himself by the window. I put on some Manu Chao for him to increase the tropical vibe. It's supposed to be in the upper 80's this weekend, so I might be joining him.

• Have you ever said to yourself, "Self, with all of the movies that are out there, how am I supposed to watch them all?" Well, 2 blogs have been created to help you out by offering movie reviews. First, there's the amazing 2 Guys 1 Blog 0 Job that my friend John and I started a few months back. Then there's James' These Movies Are Making Me Thirsty. If you like 3rd grade writing and not-so-subtle insults aimed at me, then you might might find his effort funny in the way you find midgets wrestling to be funny.

• I've been listening to these songs lately:

• The Portland Trail Blazers lost in 6 games to the Houston Rockets in the 1st round of the NBA playoffs. I have not watched a game since. They did well this year and much better than anyone expected, so good job, guys. I've begun cheering for Chris "Birdman" Andersen now. He's such a tool that I can't help but love him. He'd lead the league in blocked shots if he started. He does one of two things after a good play: 1) flaps his arms like a bird or 2) runs his fingers through his hair. Fly, Birdman, fly.